Main disadvantages and problems of long-term collaborations

Recalls that the act of relating, in itself, is a challenge, since the couple will not be in consensus all the time, something that is very evident in collaborations that last for years and that have entered a "routine". .

Contrary to what the myth of 'twin souls' suggests, we have to struggle with beliefs, values and desires that don't match at all and don't match all the time. Over time, they have the possibility of making various adjustments, but the fact is that the routine and the accumulation of duties tend to produce many frustrations, requests, arguments, mutual accusations and annoyances”, shows contemporary marital collaborations in his studies and O The same point stands out: the routine and monotony that interaction reaches over time.

In general, the main problems and problems that a couple who have been together for a long time face is monotony. A sense of peace and maintenance of the well-being area through behaviors established over the years. Quite rigid routines have the possibility of demotivating and disenchanting, in addition, the religion that we know 100% of the individual can also cause this conformity.

Communication, loss of identity and dissatisfaction are other examples.

Another problem pointed out by is communication. According to scholars, studies show that this is a persistent complexity in collaborations and that, with age, this mismatch ends up showing its reflexes, making individuals become strangers, even living in the same house.

There is also a tendency to lose identity. Over time, the couple becomes “one person”, ignoring the wants and desires of all the people who make up the interaction. Psychologist Iara Anton helps by commenting on another aspect, dissatisfaction. According to the professional, this feeling can arise with age, but economic and even family issues and concerns with children tend to sustain unhappy marriages.

How to deal with these inconveniences

Iara reinforces that dialogue is essential to deal with the disorders and problems that may arise. According to the psychologist, dialogue is an excellent exercise not only for talking, but also for listening. It is a way of trying to translate one's own feelings, desires and fears in the best possible way, which adds to the attention and respect that the couple is trying to communicate.

As much as we have affinities, we have differences and divergences, it is not easy to admit that the other does not continue to idolize us, as happened at the height of the passionate era. To speak, we must have an optimal degree of humility and tolerance for frustrations. This way, we will be able to close good deals and conquer a good quality society

They complement each other by highlighting the value of the couple talking about difficult issues in a safe environment, trying to find understanding in each other. They also point out that the couple needs to be aware of the existing loneliness, even in an interaction. “A lot of things are and have to be done alone, like working, going to the bathroom and, most challenging, having friends and being able to spend time with them without a partner. In this way, identity is preserved and the other does not feel invaded by something that is not his”, they point out.

They also suggest that the couple maintain a certain mystery and that they try to make usual and inspiring plans such as travel, artistic and cultural activities, which allow them to get to know each other better. Personal and/or couple psychotherapy can also help to understand and learn to cope with stress and discomfort. 

Is it possible to avoid such problems?

We also asked the professionals if, over time, it would be feasible to overcome the aforementioned drawbacks. According to , this can be achieved through continuous investment in maintaining love, affection and society. This can be taught through small kindnesses, good occupations and good laughs, exemplifying.

Couples believe that yes, it is possible to minimize disorders and problems with a lot of self-knowledge, self-knowledge and avoiding establishing interrelationships for the good of society. Seeking self-knowledge and awareness is also important.

However, they also make a caveat: it is very difficult for a couple not to experience any kind of problem while they are together. “Problems and problems -periods of crisis, let's say-, have the possibility of potentiating changes and transformations that need to be made. The issue is not the inconveniences and efforts, but the way we face them”, they point out.

In this sense, the orientation of scholars is to try to live love interactions highlighting the happy points and not the sad affects, such as feelings of guilt or accusations and judgments, which may arise over time.

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*The content of this publication has been written for informational purposes only. At no time can they serve to facilitate or provide diagnoses, treatments or suggestions from a professional. Consult your trusted specialist in case of doubt and ask for their acceptance before starting any method.