WHAT IS TOXIC INTERACTION?

March 26, 2023

Toxic interaction negatively affects people's lives. In addition, it is essential to highlight that abusive interaction does not exclusively refer to violence or physical aggression.There are numerous forms of abuse such as psychological, emotional, financial or sexual. In addition, non-physical violence can be subtle and difficult to perceive, and it can also happen in any form of interaction. For example, loving, family, professional or social interaction.

It is common for the individual in the toxic interaction not to understand the abuse they are experiencing. As a consequence, many people are in such an interaction for long periods of time. Even so, it is common that, once the psychological and emotional abuse is evidenced, the person feels pressured not to give up on the interaction.

It is necessary to recognize the signs and also seek psychological support to deal with the consequences caused by the interaction.

Signs of a toxic interaction

Use of seduction

It is common for the abuser to use allure and flattery to release the victim's individual defenses and gain his trust. So, usually, initially, the interaction seems to be perfect and causes the victim to stay in the interaction for the "good" moments.

Lack of dialogue

In a toxic interaction, the lack of dialogue is present. In this way, it is common for the storage of discomforts involved with the interaction to be generated. The result is a "snowball" of hurt feelings. Stored grudges are often used correctly, such as a fight.

Remember yes! Waiting for “the dust to settle”, that is, calming down or feeling practical speaking, is not bad. However, it is not healthy since the individual keeps feelings or thoughts that hurt him. In the toxic interaction, the victim may not be able to voice their opinions or may be reprimanded for doing so.

Exaggerated criticism

It is common that, in a toxic interaction, the individual is continually convinced that he is wrong, that he is bad at everything he does and, still, that he is continually to blame. Bullies use manipulation to make the individual believe that the case is continually wrong.

Thus, most victims have low self-esteem and high insecurity, due to the high number of criticisms and complaints. Also, using phrases like “Would you rather hang out with your family or stay at home with me?” It is often used to manipulate the victim, which breaks the belief that he is a bad person or that he is wrong.

Anxiety and fear

In this type of interaction, it is common for the victim to feel radically anxious and afraid of any attitude of the partner. The individual fears that any involuntary word, action, or even displacement will result in controversy or a fight.

Unilateral Support

In a toxic interaction, it often happens that only one person is constantly supported and the other is neglected. Therefore, your feelings, your pains and your emotions are not taken into account. And even in situations where the individual obviously needs support, the aggressor will lead the case to his own victimization. In a healthy interaction, both parties need to be heard and supported.

Strength

Generally, the battle for power is constant. For example, fights never aim to solve problems or disagreements, but to teach who "is right or who is in charge". There are cases in which the individual even loses the courage to give an opinion and is afraid to say no or yes to situations.

Therefore, in a healthy interaction, the couple works as a group, but in a toxic interaction, both the achievements and, mainly, the defeats are the fault of only one. The attacker also tends to focus on his comrade's mistakes and emphasize them to show superiority.

Jealousy and control

The aggressor usually exerts quite high control over the victim and also feels pathological jealousy. It is common that, in an interaction, one of the pieces finds itself repeatedly observing its partner.

This person demands to be in control and to know everything about the other's life. Once the partner refuses to be controlled, the abuser often begins to display irrational pathological jealousy.

The behavior tends to be one-sided. Therefore, if the other also aspires to maintain control of the partner, the abuser will manipulate the case and not accept the conditions.

Ultimately, there are cases where the victim becomes drastically submissive to the abuser. In a healthy interaction, it is essential to have a certain degree of privacy, since trust is the basis of any interaction and therefore constant supervision is not essential.

Failure

The blame continually falls on the victim, meaning that anything that goes wrong or that the abuser finds uncomfortable will be the victim's fault. Still, any insecurity, “weakness” or feelings of the victim will also be her fault. In this type of collaboration, the attacker is unable to apologize or admit that he was wrong.

Threats and addiction

Of the most diverse types, exemplifying, emotional, psychological or physical threats. They range from those that are "I'm going to break up with you and you're left alone", to the most aggressive ones, involving threats against the individual's life.

If the abuser perceives that the victim is emotionally dependent, he will use this exhaustion to emphasize these reactions. In a toxic interaction, there is a dependence on the other partner that involves financial, emotional and physical points.

Thus, the aggressor makes the victim believe that he has no capacity for anything. For example, the individual fails to complete a personal goal or complete the interaction.

What to do?

If you recognized yourself with any of the signs, it's time to rethink your interaction. You need to understand where the interaction starts and where you start, that is, look at your mental, emotional and physical health.

Seek psychological procedure to better understand what to do and how to deal with situations. Through psychotherapy, it is possible to learn to deal with the case and understand the patterns and triggers. Still, therapy helps fight the sequels left by toxic interaction.

There are cases in which couples therapy can be effective for both parties to learn how to deal with the affair. However, in an abusive interaction it is common for the aggressor not to want to give up his “power” over the other, and in these cases the solution is to maintain emotional and physical distance.